Now that its over...what have you gotten from it..

No matter how hard you tried to relive the happiest of times during Raya in the past, it will not happen. Not after your loved ones have departed, or family structures have become an element against you, that 'Magic'al Raya is here no more.Sure, you turn to friends and other paraphernalia s that might make you happy, but try as you may, hard as it seems, its simply gone, your Raya is now a bleak   mediocre affair , even your guests seem to be at at  your distaste no matter how "enticing" the environment was.
But god being god, he has other 'happiness" for you even if you might have abstained totally from the month of Ramadhan. You see, at this late day and age, what is going to pull you through at doomsday, is your kind deeds and hearts, your sincere being to other human beings, no matter how hard you prayed and the likes, the former will be your stalwart to heaven, as again at this late day and age, humans are so full of deception,hate and evil its amazing we get by each day unscathe.
So, my joy, at least for this year, is that i am after all, not that big of a buffoon as they call me to be,if i want to be good, i can be real good..and if i want to be bad,there are limitations..but really, circumstances have revealed there  are far worse people out there, and   god in timely fashion  revealing  these phony  babboons  to the poor families that been conned all this while, for me,was high heavens  to say the least!my belief, if you are at any time a lesser being than the one you condemn in  deeds action and goodwill, please shut up, as gods great at any time and place,only you have to be a decent person at all times, thats all.You cannot possibly handle the wrath....or maybe you can, and that you are regarded as the lowest living being just escape your understanding of things, and that is the absolute worst, that of  being casted away by god.

So instead of pulling people down with you, help them up as you should to your oath to the government,or job specs,the difference of happiness helping you .. might just be there.Or just resign .You are not  fit to be helping anyone, but yourself.So spare the agency and government the embarrassment and disgrace.